The Seven Stage Comeback
by Halo.at.Heart
Summary: What if the seven dwarfs decided it was unfair that Prince Charming stole their free house keeper and they decide to get even? A Snow White fan fic. Sorry, I suck at summaries. Please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya guys! Two weeks ago I did a Snow White play, and came up with a few questions, like wouldn't the dwarfs be mad that Prince Charming stole their free house keeper? And small, little, things like that. So after much debate with myself I decided to write a fan fiction on it. **

**This is my first fan fic for a fairy tale so please be nice. But then again, I'll love every review. :)**

**Well, Enjoy!**

**Written by: Haillie**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**AN: If you review I'll love you forever!**

**The Seven-Stage Comeback**

**Intro**

**M**any people would take one look at the movie/ book/ wherever you heard this sad, hopeless story and say something like: 'Oh! How cute!' or 'what a sweet ending! Everything worked out all happy dorky!' but I'll tell you one thing! Things didn't work out all 'happy dorky'. Nope, things turned out worse then before for seven little men.

Snow White may have gotten her fairy tale dream but what about the seven little people who risked there lives to save her butt? They get tricked out of a free house keeper. You can almost see it toward the end of the movie, when there happily waving goodbye the look of hate in there eyes.

And even after the story. And what, may you ask, did Snow White do? Nothing! Not even a simple thank you or invitation for tea. Rubbish, I tell you! Rubbish!

Now you see, I am here for a _very_ important reason, I am here to finish the story. I am here to tell you the true story of what happened after Snow White. After years I have gather enough information to share what really happened to Snow White and the seven dwarfs. There is no way to be completely sure of what started this ironic chain reaction, but it you ask me, I'd say it all started will one little dwarf.

Grumpy.

**Was it good? Should I update? Tell me what you think! Review and I will love you forever!**

**If you guys do like this, the next chapter will be up tonight or tomorrow morning.**


	2. And Then They Realized

**Hi again. :)**

**Thank you Arichos** **for reviewing. It means a lot to me.**

**Okay, so on with chapter 1, enjoy!**

**Written by: Haillie**

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**AN: Review and I'll love you forever**

**The Seven-Stage Comeback**

**Chapter 1:**

**Where it all started**

**A**s Snow White and Prince Charming rode off into some unknown place, Grumpy, a rather grumpy dwarf seemed to be the only one that thought about the last few weeks as he waved good-bye. In a few second the dwarf has summed up the last few weeks, which returned him back into his hostile state.

For in the last week or so the seven dwarfs had:

-Found Snow White

-Hide her from the Queen

-Let her in his home

-Risk his butt

-Almost be smashed by a boulder

-And put her in a peaceful resting spot when Snow White was sleeping

And what had Snow White done to them! Make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, clean their house, and then leave them forever. It was rubbish! Rubbish he thought! Rubbish! Not to add on top of that, Prince Charming came and stole their free house cleaner.

Grumpy pondered on this a while longer before receiving a poke in the ribs from Happy.

"What is there not to be happy about Grumpy? Are you mad that we caught you in a happy state for a bit and can now use it as blackmail material?" Happy asked, taking a quick break from his happy waving.

"No, not that rubbish, but why should we be happy for _her_. She left us to go with _him_. What the heck did he do?" Happy's face dropped for a second before returning to its usual happy glow.

"Why he kissed her of course!" he cheered happily.

"You mean after we risked everything." Happy shook his head, shaking the thought off and once again started waving to Snow White, and now Doc stepped in.

"Now, now Grumpy! I'm sure Snow White had her reasons and-"

"No, Doc. After risking our lives she went off with him! Leaving us to rot! And just because he kissed her doesn't mean anything!" Doc paused, taking in all the information before replying.

"Well Grumpy, she, well, you know!" Doc looked down at the ground defeated as a twisted smile formed on Grumpy's lips.

"She left us, when she owes us."

"Oh Grumpy, are you mad about us seeing you in a happy state, knowing we will later you it as blackmai-"

"You mean you don't care that after risking our lives she ran off giving us nothing in return while giving that Prince her free house cleaning and good cooking! It's rubbish I say! Rubbish!" Grumpy growled.

"Hi ho, I can't believe it. Grumpy is right!" Doc gasped, his face becoming a light shade of green. With that said the five other dwarfs stopped waving and turned around at once. A look of shock and confusion on their faces as Doc began to explain Grumpy's point.

"You see Gentlemen, we saved Snow White and before she was done repaying us that prince took her away! After we risked out lives she left us! He now has her free house cleaning and cooked meals why we get nothing! I mean it's just pure-"

"Rubbish." Grumpy finished, and that set the little dwarfs off, in .005 seconds their happy "Hoorays!" ands "YAYS!" went to "Boos!" and "Rubbish!"

And it is now said that one by one the little dwarfs marched into their little houses and ran to their little cabinets to get their little pencils and little slip of paper to some up with a plan, a plan to get back at Snow White and Prince Charming.

But after an hour or so the dwarfs began to tire of trying to come up with something. For it seemed harder then they thought, and they had a very short attention spam, not to mention it was bedtime.

So, with murder on their minds the little dwarfs marching into their little beds. But among all the stacks of paper balls and clean sheets of paper, among all the markers and crayons, and pencils, there was a single business card that the seven dwarfs had decided apon.

And there, printed on the card as clear as day where the little words:

Planning a comeback?

Have revenge on your mind?

Ask the Queen!

And the little dwarfs decided to do just that.

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**Did you guys like it?**

**Sorry this wasn't the best chapter, but I needed to put a lot of info in this chappie.**

**So yeah, review and I'll update. :D**


	3. Procrastination

**Tank you Tank you for all the review, hey even though I only have three so far I lubb each and every one of them. Here's the next chappie /already/ well, Enjoy!**

**Written by: Haillie**

**Disclaimer: I don't own . . .**

**AN: Review and I will love you forever:O**

**The Seven-Stage Comeback**

**Chapter 2:**

**Procrastination**

**M**any people are **procrastinators**, a word here which means, oh, who cares what the dictionary term is! All you need to know is that **procrastinators** are people who put things off to the last minute.

For example, if you have some homework that is do on Friday and is given to you on Monday, the smart thing to do would be to work on your homework bit by bit. But a **procrastinator** would leave everything until Friday. Why would **procrastinators** do this? One of three reasons:

-They don't like homework

-They forgot they had that piece of homework

-There are to lazy

Now, you might ask why I am making the words **procrastinators** or** procrastinator **highlighted. And that is very simple, because this entire chapter is going to be based on the bad things of **procrastination**. That, and I'm trying to make things more exciting.

Now, that certain business card that belonged to the seven little people soon seemed to drift into all the chaos and was soon forgotten. Don't get me wrong, there was still murder on the dwarf's minds but long ago they had given up or trying to figure out how they solved the problem before, so they returned to trying to find a way to bring Snow White back to their little house. So she could fix their little dinners and make their little beds.

But I am sorry to say the seven dwarfs were among the many people who were **procrastinators**. So they seemed to put off the idea of hunting down Snow White to bring her back and killing Prince Charming. Why? Because this seemed like a long process and the seven little men already had work to do, so they put it off until later.

But soon, the business card become even more lost in the crowd of papers and notices and was soon shuffled into Itchy's closet. And after a few months in the dark depths of the closet the card some how passed to Happy's closet who thought it was a unhappy card, so he gave it to Doc. Who one day left it on the kitchen table for Dopy to pick up, and somehow, in the end, the small card ended up in Grumpy's closet,

Thirteen years after Snow White had left.

And so, the card was finally found some thirteen years, six months, and four days after Snow White had left.

It was Grumpy who found the card deep in his closet one day, in a stack of colorful papers,

"Rubbish," he would say, setting one paper down and looking at the next one, "Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish, rubbish, book, rubbish, rubbish, what the-" Grumpy stared down at the small card, reading it over and over again in his mind.

Planning a Comeback?

Have revenge on your mind?

Ask the Queen!

"Doc!" He cheered. "I think I found it! I found it!" Doc, who was happily reading a book in the corner stretched his neck to see what Grumpy had been looking at so carefully.

"The Queen's Card!" he explained, his face lighting up suddenly, then in a second it dropped again, "What does that have to do with us?" Grumped grunted, showing him the card more carefully.

"To get back at Snow White!" he exclaimed. "The queen _almost_ got her last time! Maybe she can help us get Snow White back!" Grumpy said jumping up from his spot on the floor. But Doc seemed unfazed.

"Grumpy," he started, "Last time the all powerful Queen got defeated by seven little men who would dig for jewels for a living. She's really not all that great. And-"

"Okay then, what's your great idea?" Grumpy cut in. Doc paused for a few moments before announcing to the house:

"Come on men! Were going to the Queen's house to seek revenge and bring Snow White back!" at once everyone seemed to pour into the living room. All eager to finally get revenge, even though half of them couldn't exactly remember who Snow White was.

And before long, after reminding the little people who was Snow White and what had happened, the seven little men set out toward the Queens castle, with the card in Doc's hand as the set out for revenge.

That is, without any **procrastinating** this time.

**To answer this question before it is asked: Yes, the queen in this story is still alive, though she is a little different. (You'll see what I mean in the next chapter) Things are finally (slowly) starting to get to the main plot, so hopefully in the next few chapters things will be a lot more funny and chapters will be longer and things will be easier to read.**

**  
Well you know the drill. I love reviews. And I won't update unless I get a few. So please review, and I will be happy to answer any questions. :**


	4. The Queen

**Written by: Haillie**

**Disclaimer: I own /nothing/.**

**AN: You know, reviews help me update much faster…**

**The Seven-Stage Comeback**

**Chapter 3:**

**The Queen**

After many miles of walking the seven little men, who were now tired and even more cranky then before stepped inside the huge palace where they soon saw a long man standing behind a table, a pen in hand as he leaned over whatever he was writing on.

Happy bravely knocked on the platform, but the man did not see them, he glanced up from his work but expected those pesky kids had come to prank him again, and the poor man had work to do. So he kept writing on his scroll.

Once again Happy knocked on the play form to receive the man's attention, and once again the man ignored this, thinking it was another prank call until finally after many minutes passed by Grumpy spoke up.

"The service is rubbish here! It's all rubbish! We've been here for minutes now and you won't help you! We should have you fired." at this the man bent over the stand, taking a close look at six very unhappy dwarfs, and one who was jumping happily.

"Sorry good Sir." the man said quickly, "I did not notice you and your company, and, may I say-"

"Yeah, yeah, just lead us to the old witch." Grumpy scoffed.

"Excuse me Sir?" the man asked, he clearly someone who was confused easily, that or he didn't have a very long attention spam.

"The bloody Queen!" Grumpy growled slamming his hands against the stand.

"Excuse me Sir, but I would be careful, the paint on my stand is wet." Grumpy removed his hands to see that they were indeed, covered in brown paint.

"The Queen Sir," Sneezy said quickly before sneezing again, but he was quickly forgotten as Doc finished for him.

"We have come to see the Queen on special business." the man cringed slightly, like he was repressing bad memories, or have just been whipped.

"The Queen, is not feeling well, and is still-"

"Recovering from an accident some years ago. We know." Grumpy said, a steady stream of smoke starting to come out of his ears.

"She gave me strict orders not to let _anyone_ see her!" the man warned. "Good day now. I am sorry I could not help you."

The seven dwarfs huddled in a corner. All waiting for Doc's guidance, but instead Grumpy gave his input to the issue.

"Just let me talk to the guy, I'm sure we can come to some, well agreement."

"Grumpy! For heaven's sake stop rubbing your hands together like that! You look like you're planning to kill someone!" Itchy bellowed. Grumpy looked down and, indeed, he was rubbing his hands together like an evil person from the movies or some insane person who was planning to do something incredibly stupid.

Grumpy walked away from the group and back to the man who was still happily at work. Grumpy slid next to the man's ear, his voice only a small whisper.

"You know," the man jumped, for he had not noticed Grumpy was sitting on his shoulder, "You should let us see the Queen, because, well we all do what the Queens bids of us but for your own safety, let us in." The man set Grump back down the ground, annoyance written all over his face.

"Sorry good Sir but that Queen said-"

"Look at those men, see that one there?" Grumpy cut in pointing to Itchy, who was scratching behind his ear. "I bet that guy can turn into a dog and cause chaos, I mean. Then there, that guy," this time Grumpy pointed to Sneezy who had just sneezed, "I bet he could blow the building down, or even him," and for the last time Grumpy's chubby finger pointed to Bashful, who was hiding behind Doc.

"I bet you he's hiding his evilness." Grumpy said calmly like he had been talking about the weather.

Now the man's face had turned very blue. And with a click of his pen his hand pointed down a long hallway,

"Last door on the right good Sir," Grumpy smiled, pleases his work was completed.

"Thank you kind Sir." Grumpy left the man, who still looked quiet worried and headed toward the six men.

"Were in," was all Grumpy said, and in a second he was heading down the right hall to the right door with the little men hot on his heels. After a little trouble the seven dwarfs opened the grand doors to reveal a grand room. And there, lying peacefully in her bed was the Queen. Or at least, the records say she was peaceful, no one was quite sure what the Queen was feeling.

The Queen watched carefully as Doc approached her bedside,

"Oh Queen," he began, "I see you are a grand bird and even though you've broken a feather, I need-" Doc began, trying to sound as cheesy as possible, for that's how he was taught to talk to a queen, but none the less, he was cut off by the witch.

"Broken a feather?" the Queen asked, "Broken a feather? I'm in a full body cast for crying out loud! Look!" with a twist of wires the dwarfs were able to see the Queen's foot, which was half gone.

"When you dumped me off that cliff I lost have my foot, now only have three tuffs of hair and have been in a body cast for thirteen years!" The Queen screeched.

The room was quiet for a moment as the dwarfs regained their hearing before Doc spoke up again, "Listen, we need your help." the Queen's eye stretched, so the dwarfs guessed she was raising one eyebrow.

"You left to me die after I fell off a cliff and now you need my help." Doc growled and passed the Queen her card. Her eyes scanned the card quickly.

Planning a comeback?

Have revenge on your mind?

Ask the Queen!

"This is from a decade ago!" she screeched. All seven dwarfs blushed at this, but finally Grumpy spoke up,

"Do you want to help us or not?" he sneered, the Queen scowled before a wailing scream came out of her mouth that sounded like "no."

Doc snatched back the card, then, strangely, a smile touched his face,

"So, I guess you don't want to help us get back at Snow White then." The Queen's eye's widened,

"What? Get Back at Snow White, wait why?"

"The freaking prince stole her! We want our house keeper back!" Grumpy bellowed. The Queen's face became relaxed as she thought thing over, weighing the facts.

"Okay," her voice seemed so small but clear. "I'd like to see the brat again," she grinned. "I'll do it."

And in that second all seven dwarfs and the Queen thought that were going to bravely bring back Snow White and then rip off the other party. But What they didn't know, was they weren't only getting Snow White, they were also getting White Snow.

**Sorry it took me forever to update. I blame it on lack of reviews though. This is the second to last chapter before the big surprise. The next chapter will be mainly filling everyone in on what happened to the Queen and how she got where she was and such. Then we'll move onto the main plot. Oh, and the last part, wasn't really supposed to make since, but it's a HUGE hint.**

**I know, you can feel the excitement can't you?**


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